Earlier today, when I went to buy Roasted Plantain, Yam, Beans, and Fish for lunch outside my office, I saw a mob of hungry people fluttering around the old woman who sold the junk.
I approached the spot. I was in a corporate outfit of a neatly starched and ironed striped shirt, a lined black trouser and a well-polished pair of shoes.
Upon arriving the spot, I proclaimed, “Mama, your number one special customer is here and as such, he should be treated as one! Honor should be given to whom honor is due.”
Mama smiled and continued doing what she was doing. She’s already used to me.
“Therefore, Mama,” I continued with a mischievous smile, “I demand that you leave everything you are doing right now and everybody you are attending to and attend to me immediately!”
“Ssshuuuoooo!” a troublesome looking lady interjected, staring at me with a supercilious grimaced facial reaction.
“You say wetin?” a male voice sparked, twisting his neck around, looking for me.
“Say you be who?” Another angry man barked from the crowd.
I wanted to tell them, I am Ajike Ogbuoshishi, the fearless tiger from Ohafia, but,
I remembered that this is Nigeria. Everybody is angry. People are hungry. There is heat. There is no light. There are no jobs. No money. No joy. And…
This is Warri. A Life-changing slap isn’t difficult to get.
I bowed my head. Shamefully. Happily. I smiled. And waited for my turn.
After I bought mine and made to leave the place, an angry voice said,
“Make una dey use una brain for this town oo!!”
written by: Kelechi Obasi
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